A Post-Thanksgiving Cornucopia

As I walk around NYC, I jot down things I want to share on my blog. Usually, when I go back to read them, they say things like "train" or "girl," which doesn't usually help me to remember what it was I wanted to share. So, before my notes become just a bunch of weird words, I thought I'd throw these things out there for your amusement.

"Catch Umbrella"

OK, this means it was really windy yesterday, and as I was walking in the Lower East Side, an umbrella came tumbling down the street at me, chased by a screaming girl. So, I went into the busy traffic of East 10th Street (there was none) and caught the girl's umbrella for her. It was good karma, because mine had just been flattened earlier by the same harsh wind. On the next really windy day, I'm hoping a really good replacement umbrella will tumble towards me, without a girl chasing it.

"Robbing Donuts"

This is a good and awful one. As I said, it was windy (and rainy and cold), so I ducked into a Dunkin Donuts for a cup of coffee for the train ride home. As I stood there, waiting for my coffee, a huge guy comes in, squeezes between me and another customer at the counter, and casually picks up the fairly full tip jar. I thought he was friends with the people working there, joking with them, he was so nonchalant about it all. I said, half incredulous, half nervously laughing, "what are you doing?" He turns his back to the counter- remember, we are inches away from this guy- dumps all the money into his giant paws (spilling half the change on the floor), pockets the cash, puts the jar back, and walks out like nothing happened. Three of us stood there, dumbfounded, and the poor little DD employees finally turned around and just watched their tip money walk out the door. I would've been really mad if I'd just tipped them. But I didn't.

"Girls with photog on train"

THIS was the day before Thanksgiving, and I was on the C train. At one stop, three heavily made up young women got on with two photographers snapping away. The girls were really animated, talking a lot with their hands, pointing at things that weren't interesting, really posing it up. They sat directly across from me- the car was pretty empty- and I scooted down so the photographers could get a better angle. Cut to the next morning, when we were watching the Best Holiday Parade Ever, and a big pink Barbie Castle float comes by with the three girls on it! Apparently, I was riding on the train with someone named Keri Hilson? Is that it? Since then, I've learned from Perez Hilton that Miss Hilson has a pretty racy song out there, and people are a little up in arms about it. I guess that's what happens when you let your daughters wear too much makeup.

"Clear Throat Hail Cab"

I think this has to do with watching tourists hail cabs. Some of them just can't get it right. I actually saw someone standing on the sidewalk, with a line of parked cars between him and the street, trying to hail a cab with his hand at shoulder height, close to his body. Like he was sheepishly confessing he'd cheated on his high school biology exam. Another woman was whispering, "(ahem) taxi?" They just need to get OUT there. Stand IN the street, hold your arm up high and strong, and SHOUT. Or show a boob. Both work well.

"She's a Toxic Person, and I Don't Need That in My Life Right Now"

This is just something I overheard on the street. There are a million good things overheard everyday. I should start a whole new blog of just that. Plus, I get what she's saying. Sister, I hear ya.

That's enough for now...I gotta save some of these for later. Who am I kidding? I'm going to need a little more time to decipher what they mean. Help me out...what do you make of "Sorosis on Train," or "Note to Maze?"