I'll wait a second while you re-read the NEW title of this blog.
Still with me? Good, because from here on out, this blog is going to be really, really fun to read.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pregnant. With a baby. Together, Dean and I have created a human being that lives inside of me, wakes me every two hours to pee, and refuses to let me wear my skinny jeans. And we are thrilled.
In the past few weeks, we've informed our families and some close friends, and the reactions have ranged from tears of joy to spit takes to uncontrollable laughter to stunned stares, and one report of someone actually falling out of their chair. And those are just reactions from me and Dean.
Answers to your most pressing questions: We're due in June, and we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet. We WILL find out, because otherwise I will explode. We have chosen names, but won't be sharing them with anyone until the BIG DAY. However, feel free to send suggestions, because we like a good laugh and could be persuaded to change our minds for something really good, like Bookcase or Hortence. We're staying in NYC and are keeping our current apartment because it's awesome, it's near the Best Park in the World, and Hank would be devastated if we moved him away from his doggie girlfriend, Fenny.
My friend Kim pointed out that I completely started my life over at 40, and she's right. In the past 2 years, I got married for the first (and last) time, changed my career, moved to New York, and NOW...am expecting a baby.
I realize our child will graduate from high school in 2030, and it freaks me out, because I have no idea how we're going to teach it to drive one of those flying George Jetson cars we'll all have by then. Rather than dwell on the possibility that I might need a walker to attend the child's wedding, I'm going to embrace the fact that as we raise our child, I will have TWICE the life experience to draw from as a lot of first-time moms. And when I get super depressed that my bras don't fit and I can't button my regular pants anymore, I smile and think of how adorable Dean Poynor will look walking around with a Baby Bjørn strapped to his chest.
Before I go eat Second Breakfast, I want to share one of my earliest blog posts with you. It's called "Babyville." It's even funnier now.
Guess I drank the water after all.