Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dear Celebrities: You are WELCOME.

Dear Celebrities,

First, allow me to welcome you to New York City (though many of you have been here longer than I have.) Your work here is important-whether you're shooting a film, boozing it up at 1OAK, or stealing a Broadway role from a lesser known actor.

As someone who has made personal connections with a number of celebrities, I understand how important it is for you to walk the line between "leave me alone" and "look at how fabulous I am." I get you- I know what you need. And I apologize on behalf of the unenlightened cretans who stop you on the street, and force you to pose with their 4 year olds (I'm talking to you, Christopher Meloni.)

I am making a promise to you, Celebrities. I vow to ignore you completely.

Liam Neeson, I vow to look away the next time you and your new blonde girlfriend walk past my table. I want to enjoy my sushi dinner as much as you do yours.

Ellen and Portia, I promise to "hold it," and not wait for the bathroom at Bar Centrale, as you are sitting in the adjacent booth.

Sean Hayes and Kate "Meredith from the Office" Flannery, I will resist the temptation to interrupt your dinner to remind you we've met before at Sam's house, and I won't ask you what you think of "Pretty- The Series." (

Christiane Amanpour, I won't ask you why you downgraded from CNN to ABC, and I definitely won't comment on your mom jeans as you report from outside the Langham.

Frankly, Celebrities, you have interrupted my week. Your presence has distracted me from my own conversations. Your "Law and Order: SVU" has kept us from enjoying that little corner of Theodore Roosevelt Park we never, ever go to. And this morning, your trailers and catering wagons parked across the street from my front door are going to force me to walk all the way around them to get a good peek at Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Yes, are welcome. I will be ignoring you from here on out.

But I can't say the same for Hank.


  1. As the creator/writer/director of PRETTY - I do not care what Sean or Kate thinks of our series. But I would like to know what Liam's girlfriend of the moment has to say about us...

  2. I'm pretty sure she loves it as much as I do. And that Sammy Pancake is a dream...

  3. Hey! The kids and faculty ask about you often. I tell them that based on the stuff I read, you are living the good life. Good for you, Monica! I love reading about your adventures.